by CNSCSNS | Dec 27, 2020 | Imagine you attended your own funeral and gave your own eulogy. What would you say?
“If I were to die tomorrow, yet somehow speak at my funeral, I would want to speak honestly. I believe it is important to honor the truth as to how this being appeared to ME. Thus, for my funeral, I would say that I was a work in progress. I died pre-maturely in the sense that I did not yet make the turn towards adulthood, responsibility, and overall my greatest potential.
I was a kind, soft-spoken, open-minded person. I was a jack of all trades, with a passion for creative projects and making a dent in the system. I was an adventurous, free-spirited traveler. A good question asker and listener.
I was also selfish, especially when it came to my friends and family. I lived with a lot of fear – around intimacy, the future, my purpose, success and failure. I had a blatantly deluded self-image. I had a lot of unresolved darkness. I didn’t really give the people in my life the love and respect they deserved.
These are a few of the points I would feel are necessary to make. There are many more, but overall I think dying anytime soon would yield a less-than-adoring eulogy. I am due for a grand transformation in the near future, if I dare to imagine a positive eulogy.”
by Dorothy W | Dec 27, 2020 | Imagine you attended your own funeral and gave your own eulogy. What would you say?
“Who the fuck decided I shouldn’t wear my pink silk dress? It’s literally the only thing I wanted about my funeral. Well, not the only thing, speaking of! Why is My Chemical Romance’s Fake Your Death not playing? I mean it’s a bit boring now that I’m speaking, but then again if someone caught this on video, it could go viral, so why not. Also, who brought a bouquet with lavender? And why! I hate lavender. Should’ve brought me roses. Actually, you know what would’ve been cool? A flower crown of poppies. If I were wearing that now, the petals would fall off slowly during this little impromptu speech. I feel like that would’ve added some effect. Never mind. Right, you. Why are you here? I’ve always hated you. You freak me out.
“Why aren’t my bjj team here? Don’t they know I’m dead? Oh, hi Jim, where the hell are the rest? No, I mean, I know why my classmates aren’t here, but why aren’t my bjj guys here? I let several of them choke me, I feel like we had a special something. Just me and then 20 guys I rolled around with a few times a week. By the way Jim, you should wear a suit more often.
“Free bar, huh? Was that my dad or Patrick’s decision? Where’s the cake though? I thought you wanted to honour my memory, so there should be cake. Is there at least pasta somewhere?
“Hey, what are you gonna do with my remains? Scatter me over the streets I used to walk? If you do that, please don’t burn me first. I’d like to cause just one more riot. You know what would be really cool to do with me? Me neither. Oh! You could burn me and then put me in a Coke can and keep it in your fridge. Come on, that would be funny.
“Anyway, enjoy your boozed up cakeless party. Cause that’s totally in my spirit. Seriously guys. Whatever, I’m gonna get naked, and go take a nap in an open casket. Wake me when mcr gets back together. Ffs.”
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